Thursday, April 9, 2009

As Seen on TV

On this fine, rainy, first day of Spring break the boys are enjoying some cartoons. I am in the study filling out passport applications (we are taking the kids to apply for them today.) Christian yells, "Hey Mom, we gotta get some OxyClean." I remind him that we already have some--I started using OxyClean when Andrew was about his age and became obsessed with it. This advertising brain washing, combined with the, "It will turn your brains to mush," are reasons we limit TV watching in this house.

That Billy Mays hypnotizes kids--making them believe they MUST MAKE PARENT BUY THIS PRODUCT. Because of these advertisements I have purchased the Ped Egg, The Bedazzler and Oxy Clean--all of which have been satisfactory. Bev now wants Pixos for her birthday and I am trying to resist buying ShamWows.

Over the last few months, Christian has become Billy's latest victim. Everyday he informs me of a product we should buy. I always ask him why we need it. I started jotting down some of his responses:

Aqua Globes--"Cause then your plants won't die,"
The Clapper "Cause you don't have to move and you just clap and the lights go out."
Mighty Putty--"Cause it can stick a vase to the wall."
Big City Slider Station--"Cause they're sure to please."
SpinLash--"Cause it spins around and then you look beautiful."
The Snuggie--"Cause it's the blanket that has sleeves."
Barack Obama Gold Plated Quarter--"Cause you like him, right?"
Space Bags--"Cause then your closet won't look so junky."

Looking at that list one would assume I kill plants, am too lazy to get off my duff to turn out the lights, desperately need a makeover and have a junky closet. Thanks a lot Billy Mays.

4 comments:

CJ said...

The way you wrote this, I can actually hear Christian talking. The funny part is we have a Ped Egg, Aqua Globes (I do kill plants), Mighty Putty (manage to break things now and then), Shaw Wows (absolutely necessary with dogs) and I always use OxyClean (imperative for white stuff). In addition -- they all work, so I can't fault Billy Mays too much. As far as your assessment, no way. Your house is beautiful and so are you.

Andrea said...

That is hilarious! I am always tempted by those darn commercials as well. Now we know why they put them on the kids' TV channels!

Julie Jones said...

I almost bought my kids "The Clapper" last year for christmas! When I did a little researched on them I found out that any loud noise will turn the lights off or on. I can just see my kids yelling at each other before school and then leaving without knowing their lights are on. I still kind of want one though. LOL

Camille said...

That's hilarious. We just had to buy the Aqua Globes for the J. grandparents on the insistence of the kids. I remember Andrew quoting commercials when he was even younger than Kiki: "one call, that's all". That darn TV will turn your brain to mush, right after mom buys all the stuff that's advertised.