It's just me and you TIger...

All of the kids are now in school. Jessi started a week after the other three went back.

Every year, I experience the same two emotions--excitement--that they get to go out into the big world and learn and experience things, and sadness--that they are growing up so, so fast. I worry about them. I want school to be great. I want them to have great teachers and good friends and healthy lunch and I want people to be nice to them and I want them to be nice to people. I want them to learn and grow and be confident and happy.

School was moved to a 9:00 start time, and we still have a hard time making the bus. I end up driving them most days. Getting 4 elementary-aged kids ready is kicking my trash.

So, the first day they all went we were of course in a rush. We didn't have our prayer, so Andrew said it in the car. I gave them all my morning advice and loves and dropped them off. I walked Jessi to her class and as I left, she turned around and said, "Mommy, have a fun day with Tiger." (She has repeated that sentiment everyday since.)

After I dropped Jessi off I checked in on the other kids. I used to get teary and anxious the first few weeks of the new school year. I have adopted a new method of dealing with these feelings--I just stalk the kids. Because I am at the school so often, I peek in on them--often.

So, I dropped her off and got in the car. I sat there for a minute and wondered what to do with myself. Don't get me wrong, I've got plenty to do. I guess I was pondering something much deeper. Who am I now? What am I supposed to do? What is my "job?" I have figured some of that out. I know that I have only one year left with Jessi at home part of the day. We are using that time together to do fun things and to work on developing some skills she needs. I know that part of my job will be to be at the school. I volunteer three mornings a week. The reality is that I am as busy now as I have ever been.

So, after sitting in the parking lot for a few minutes, I drove up to Maverik for a Diet Pepsi and then headed home. The house was SO quiet. I folded some laundry while drowning my sorrows in Pepsi and an episode of Hoarders. (btw, not the best idea for a pick-me-up.) Before I knew it it was time to pick up Jessi.

The kids seem to be doing well. Christian is still not loving being there all day, although he has stopped asking about all the possible diseases and injuries he could sustain in order to miss school. We are taking that as progress.